


Go on and tear me apart (I don't care if you do)

by flavinja



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Lazarus Pit, Season/Series 03, Speculation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-08
Updated: 2015-03-08
Packaged: 2018-03-16 20:31:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3501848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flavinja/pseuds/flavinja
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oliver lost many people during his life, he can't lose her too. He won't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Go on and tear me apart (I don't care if you do)

**Author's Note:**

> Speculation for episodes 3x18 and 3x19, based on spoilers (although some of them were ignored) and [this theory](http://missmudpie.tumblr.com/post/112795355800/baseless-theory-felicity).
> 
> Title borrowed from the song "A Sky Full Of Stars" by Coldplay. 
> 
> English is not my first language and the fic is not betaed, so please let me know of any mistake!

Felicity goes with Ray to Central City, leaving Oliver behind. He’s not surprised seeing as she was mad at him after he and Ray fought at Diggle’s wedding reception. He’s not sure if he’s angrier because she’s dating him or because he’s also determined to save the city, so similar to himself. In the end, it doesn’t matter, it’s his own fault he and Felicity are not in a good place right now.

Oliver is out patrolling when he receives a call from Barry saying Felicity is in the hospital; he almost runs there in full Arrow gear.

Ray and Barry are in the hall, both looking distressed. It doesn’t take much time for Oliver to find out what happened.

It doesn’t take much time for his whole world to fall apart.

 

By the window of the door, Oliver can see her on the bed, motionless. A nurse is around her, taking the vital signs. One more step and Oliver can go into her room. He has to hold his breath when he goes near Felicity. He sits next to her and just watches for hour, wanting to hold her hand but not having the courage. Diggle, Roy, Barry e Ray all come by, crying and talking to Felicity. Oliver doesn’t say a word, he doesn’t shed a tear. He just stays next to her, afraid that Felicity’s destiny will be the same as all the other people he loved.  

“My baby, what happened to my baby?” Donna Smoak comes running into Felicity’s room, tears in her eyes and looking at Oliver for answers. He doesn’t say anything, just watches Donna take the place beside her bed and hold Felicity’s hand, promising everything would be okay.

He leaves them both, rage filling his body. He can’t promise any of them everything would be okay, maybe nothing would ever be okay again. He needs to do something. He wants to yell at Ray, fight him even, but he knows that not only this won’t solve anything it will just make her angry when she wakes up. Oliver talks to both Ray and Barry and finds out the details of what happened, he goes to the Foundry and put on his Arrow suit.

“Oliver, you don’t have to do that, man, not now. Just stay with her”, Diggle advises, but Oliver is not listening. He can’t just stand and do nothing.

He tracks them down without a problem. Arrow aimed, he can kill them in a second. He thinks about Slade, in Lian Yu, breathing even after killing his mom. He thinks about the Count, and even though he knows it’s not the same – killing them will not save Felicity, as much as he would like – a part of him really wants to shoot that arrow.

“You have to head back to the hospital, Oliver”, Diggle says in the comms, diverting his attention. “She’s getting worse.”

Oliver looks one last time to the people who hurt her and then leaves, letting them live for at least one more day. Right now, there’s somewhere else he needs to be. His heart is throbbing in his chest and he twists the accelerator even harder.

He sees Roy and Diggle outside her room, both with tears in their eyes. He feels his heart stopping and he runs to her room, not bothering to talk to either of them. Donna is sobbing next to Felicity, but the only sound Oliver can hear is the incessant beep coming from the monitor. He feels his knees failing and his vision escaping him.

Five years of hell could not prepare him for losing her. Ra’s al Ghul could stab him again and throw him out of a mountain and Oliver would not feel a thing. He would only thank him for taking the pain away.

He sees Shado with a bullet in her head. His mom being stabbed by Slade. Sara laying in the Foundry, dead. Not Felicity. He can’t lose her too.

He won’t.

In the end, he doesn’t even think about stealing her body, of how wrong it is and what right does he have to make this choice for her. It doesn't matter, he just knows he needs her back. He has already lost too many people and he will die before he lets Felicity become one of them.

 

Oliver knows about second chances, he had a lot of them, and there is no one else in the world who deserves one more than Felicity. She deserves to live. 

With her dead body in his arms, he arrives to Nanda Parbat and begs. He’s on his knees, begging Ra’s al Ghul to make her second chance happen. Oliver says he’ll do anything to bring her back and he means every word of it.

He sells his soul to the demon and does it gladly. Because the next thing he knows, Ra’s al Ghul is accepting the deal, a smile in his face like he knew this would happen, and taking Felicity to Lazarus Pit. Oliver doesn’t know anything about it except it can bring people back. He doesn’t know the price – and it must have a price – and he doesn’t care, as long as she can breathe again. He is willing to pay whatever he needs to.

For a moment, after she emerges from the water, nothing seems to change. Oliver’s heart sinks and all the hope drains out of him. That’s when he hears her gasp and all the unshed tears come to him. He’s right next to her, holding her hand and muttering “You’re okay, you’re okay.”

Felicity looks confused and he knows they’ll have to talk soon. That they’ll have to deal with what he did. But right now, Felicity is in his arms, Oliver can hear her heart beat and he can finally breathe again. When Ra’s al Ghul comes, he has to fulfill his part of the deal and leave her again.

“I’m glad you came to me”, Ra’s says. “You made the right choice.”

Oliver glances at Felicity, slowly getting up, trying to understand where she is and what happened to her. She hasn’t said a word and that worries him.

“There was no choice to make.”

She is alive and that is all that matters.

**Author's Note:**

> This was a lot shorter than I planned... And it turned out a little different than what I intended. While I don't really think this is how things are going to happen at the show, it was fun playing with the idea. 
> 
> It's my first olicity fic, I hope you enjoyed it. Please, let me know what you thought of it! 
> 
> You can also find me [here](http://mosbying.tumblr.com/) on tumblr.  
> xx


End file.
